Airline Travel Etiquette

My travels this weekend solidified the fact that people are clueless. Here is what you need to know when you fly, which apparently is NOT common sense.


1. If you know how to read, you can use a self check-in kiosk

Don't awkwardly wait it line to make a staff member come hold your hand and walk you to the kiosk. If you have a credit card, confirmation number, flight number, a first and last name, a passport, AN IDENTITY you can check in using one of these. I HAVE FAITH IN YOU. NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY AND DO IT.

2. Going through security

It really doesn't matter what the threat level is, you can't bring liquids and you can't bring sharp objects. I'm not sure why this is a difficult concept to grasp. 

AKA leave your water jugs and weapons of mass destruction at home so you don't cause me to miss my plane. 

3. Don't pull up the armrest if you are sitting next to someone you don't know. I don't want to touch you. I don't know you, and you probably have some illness that I'm going to catch in 3 days anyways.

4. Keep your child under control

I always get stuck in the seat in front of or behind a little kid. Planes are confined spaces so parents can you not let them run wild, kick my seat, or pull the seat back on my lap. Your kid is like 3 feet tall, there is no necessity for that. 

5. De-planing

When the seatbelt light turns off, you get up, get your stuff, and get off. DO NOT go down the aisle before the people in the aisle before you have gotten off. Slow down there hot shot, that's rude. 

WELL I FEEL BETTER NOW THAT I'VE GOTTEN THAT OFF MY CHEST. There is my public service announcement for the week!