That time I tried to use pac man as a metaphor for my life...

My dad called me yesterday and said that my 8 year old brother is getting picked on at school. (I have a really "fun" family situation if you didn't already know.) Let me just say, my little brother Justin is the sweetest, most well-behaved, loving kid I have ever met. I am not biased at all I swear. There is certainly NO reason why he should be constantly left out or picked on. We all remember those early school years. Kids can be so cruel. 

How could you not love this little guy?!

Now, as we grow older you would think this idea would become a non-issue. Lately I've come to realize more and more that this just isn't the case.

Have you ever played the old school pac man game that they have at the arcades at the beach? Those scary colored ghost things would just eat my little guy for NO REASON right before I got the cherries, every-single-time. There was no rhyme or reason behind it, (besides the game wouldn't be very challenging otherwise) but you get the point.

I realize this is the lamest comparison...probably ever. But hey, apparently pac man is teaching kids cold hard facts about life! It seems like some people come after you with no actual justification or reasoning. 

I am no angel in this department. In high school when I had more of my "mean girl" persona, my group of friends and I used to gather all of our cell phones in a circle on a table together after school. There was one girl who ALWAYS wanted to hang out with us who we never deemed worthy. We'd watch her attempt to call each of our phones, one after another, and ignore her every single time. It makes me cringe looking back to think how inconsiderate I was to someone else's feelings. Especially since she was nothing but nice to all of us. 

Most people do leave that type of behavior and judgement in high school, thank God. I know I did. Once I got to college I had no friends or room to be turning away new acquaintances. I realized how different people were from me and enjoyed and appreciated those unique qualities. Above all, I really am the type of person who wants everyone to be my friend. I probably take it a little too personal when people don't feel the same way.

I'm sure most people can think of those people who have no interest in associating with anyone who is unlike themselves. Whether it be back in high school, those certain "scary" girls in the sorority, that unapproachable boss or co-worker, or even just someone you're forced to interact with in everyday life for one reason or another. 


The real purpose of this whole post is my realization of how I react to these types of people. Instead of realizing that they aren't worth it and moving on, I do the exact opposite. Somehow, I revert back to the awkward, middle school version of myself, allow them to make me feel insecure, and for some reason make even MORE of an effort to be their friend?... How much sense does that make? Can you say....

People say, oh they're just jealous. They're unhappy with their lives. Yada yada yada. It still doesn't really make sense to me. 

All of this just really makes me miss my friends. It's hard sometimes when you don't have those people that "get" you next door anymore. The ones that embrace the fact that you like to bake more than watch sports, will go on random adventures at the drop of a hat, and look at your differing qualities as a positive rather than a negative. I think it's safe to say that NONE of my good friends and I have a ton in common. If you lined us all up we have completely different taste, style, opinions, and upbringings. I appreciate you all ten times more now that I suddenly find myself feeling like the kid who resorts to eating their lunch in the bathroom. 

The moral for today is: Don't beat yourself up over every person who doesn't want to be your friend or who offends you. Fahgettaboudem. Also, keep an open mind and to people who are unlike you. Some of those people could turn out to be your best friends!

...and....there should be a cure for cancer, world peace, and no more hungry people in the world.


Sorry for the dramatic life rant, but you should probably be used to it by now.

JULYYYYY

I'm back after a long updating hiatus! I've been pretty busy/down in the dumps lately with work. I decided to stop complaining and take action. 2 weeks notice and I am out-of-here! 

Let's not discuss the irrational decision making or potential lengthy unemployment period, please and thank you.

Onto the recap. Maybe I'll finish before next New Years...

July was quite a month.

During the last weekend of June/beginning of July, I was finally getting certified to teach spin. The class was on a Sunday and was 8 hours of instructional SPINNING FUN. I somehow got persuaded to go out that Saturday night before. Worst. Decision. Ever. When you're goofily drunkenly grinning at the instructor-of-all-spin-instructors during the hardest part of the ride, she will not hesitate to call you out in front of the whole group. Fun fact. That was a rough 8 hours. The night was fun though I suppose, minus the fact that Brandon and I were galavanting across Georgetown holding hands at one point. He didn't even have my number yet. I'm really good at being sly and mysterious like that.


Also, I informed him that I don't dance. (I have ZERO rhythm) Then this happened...several times...

...and let's not discuss how much I miss my Florida/summer tan.. :(

And what do ya know, I danced. I'm sure it was a sight..

Believe it or not, I got my spinning certification...on 4 hours of sleep. I think I deserve an extra special certification for that accomplishment. 

Deanna and I tried to throw a 4th of July party. Unfortunately we forgot that we don't actually have any friends.... So no one showed up and we ended up taking our festive party treats to a more popular get together down the street. Womp womp womppppp.

Grillmaster with the fuzzy slippers

Friends since high school :) We ended up having a fun night, people really loved our tequila jello shots, NOT

I volunteered at the "Best of Washington" event on behalf of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I got to check in the VIP's at the beautiful National Building Museum venue and try out all of DC's best restaurants and bakeries. Not a bad deal if you ask me. 

I got to visit on of my favorite cities, Boston! It is always a plus if I can go in the summer when it's still bearable and not a big freezing wind tunnel.. My cousin Katie and one of my good friends from college also named Katie both live there. It was so nice to see them, and one of my long lost friends from high school, Sara, as well!

My other cousin's girlfriend Alex, my cousin Katie, and I

I received an unexpected text from one of my closest friends, Reynolds. "How far is Baltimore from you?" Of course he had no idea that he was only an hour away. (Florida people problems...) Anyways, I jumped in the car and spent the afternoon with him and his friends at some hipster art festival. It's always so comforting to be with the people who know you the best. He filled me in on all of his European backpacking escapades, and we had the best brunch EVER at Miss Shirley's. If any of you are ever in Baltimore on the weekend you MUST go.

We went tubing down the river on a Livingsocial adventure. It wasn't quite Bear Paw, but for Northern Virginia it was pretty close! (and no alligators was an added plus :))

Accepting Mediocracy

I know I'm in the middle of this whole recap 2011 thing. Let's be real, no one really cares about my life last year that much, and I need a break. July will be coming soon though...promise! (Especially since I work a ton next week, oh joy)


The topic I want to talk about is one that's been on my mind a lot lately, and frankly causing me to lose some sleep. Don't you wish you could turn your brain off at night? 

Recently my mind's been wandering quite a bit about the future. How do you know what is right and what isn't when considering the long term? It's such a hard concept to grasp, especially in your early twenties. This is partly because our generation owns the right that we can change our minds whenever we feel like it. It's a blessing and a curse if you ask me.


I mean I look back at something as simple as my taste in clothing a mere four years ago and can't even understand what I was thinking. 

This was taken my freshmen summer of college. No, this wasn't a luau theme party.  And cool plastic necklace Taylor...See what I mean about my taste quickly changing!

How do you know what is going to change as far as your preference, perspective and behavior? And with that, how do you know what is permanent in life; what is bound to last forever and remain a true constant? If someone says they are going to be there forever, are they really? How do they even really know they will be? And will you want them there 5, 10, 15, years from now? What about your job, where you live, your friends, and the decision to eventually have kids? You can't exactly get rid of those once you have them.

LOL I would get stuck with this child...

I guess all these questions really lead to just one main idea. What is the age or how do you know that all that's changing has leveled itself out? Do we really finally plateau or are we doomed by our own changing perspective forever? I guess you just have to trust your instinct, maturity level, and judgement. I mean what else can you do? It's just freaking scary, I'll say that much.

My realization is that I don't understand what the big rush is. As cliche as it sounds, the journey is half the fun. If you rush into the "long term" and the "forevers", not only is it bound to not last if you aren't ready, but you also miss there here and now. Sometimes it's easy to let your mind wander, worry, or become insecure about the future. I know I have been guilty of that A LOT lately. It is important to remember to enjoy the moment and have faith. Faith that if all that you're happy about is meant to be, it will be forever. Faith that if you want to change your mind it's for the best. And faith that if you are let down you will get through it and be a better person because of it.

I don't really know if any of this make sense, but it makes me feel better to get it off my chest. Maybe someone else can relate too, or maybe I'm just a crazy person. I'm thinking it's probably more of the ladder. Oh well.


At times like these Billy Joel always sings to my heart:

So my 2012 goals are: 
-stop second guessing and being insecure
-enjoy the moment, and have a little more faith that all will work out
-oh and get back in shape, duh, had to have one typical resolution in there...yes I am one of those people crowding the gym in January, sorry about it!

June 2011- Summer in DC!

Now that the Eurotrip was over, finding a job took over my life.


 My first of many summer gigs was my internship with a local self-made event planner. We met several times a week in his APARTMENT, which was beyond sketch. "Largest event internship/mentorship on the East coast..." YEA RIGHT. I guess the constant Christian radio blasting throughout his studio apartment offset the fear that he was going to chop me into pieces a little bit. Nevertheless, it was less than helpful and I started looking for a plan B very shortly after I started...

His office...aka studio apartment..."Go organize this on my bed" no but seriously.

Deanna, my mom, and I went to the Rascal Flatts concert. They were fabulous as always.

This was also the month that I met the boyfriend. It was actually at our kitchen table before a night out at Arlington's classiest establishment, Clarendon Ballroom. I was immediately drawn to his sweet disposition, bright blue eyes, and of course his 6'6 frame didn't hurt either. But considering he was my roommate's best friend since 4th grade, I chalked it up to one of my random infatuations and just kind of left it at that. However, I think he might have felt the same way considering we spent most of the night chatting on the rooftop about God knows what. He crashed on our futon that night and we all went to brunch the next day. After that I was almost positive that our relationship was going to stay in the friend zone, but was secretly a little disappointed that this was the case.   

Love this picture. Have you ever been with someone where you just feel like you're by yourselves, even in the most crowded room?

I guess June was kind of a mellow month of getting settled, searching for some sort of career, enjoying the summer, and meeting new people. There's nothing wrong with that. Oh, and I was perfecting my interior design skills on my room. That was an unhealthy, obsessive project...

May! Bon Voyage America!

Okay, enough tears and sorrow. After a 13 hour trek and LOTS of unpacking I was back in Virginia for GOOD!. I had a short 2 weeks at home before I left for my Mediterranean Cruise! 

I did manage to go to the Legwarmers (a cover 80's band) concert with my roommates. I didn't really know them that well and ended up drinking wayyyyy too much and cutting the night quite early. Woopsies. They still tease me about it to this day. Such a great first impression!

 Then it was off to Barcelona with my mom and Grandma to start our journey!!!

Of course we had to say adios to Eric....this is one of my favorites:

We traveled on the Ruby Princess to:

Barcelona

Monte Carlo/Monaco 

Florence/Chianti Region...wine tasting!!!

Rome

Naples/Capri

Mykonos

Istanbul

LOL Turkey was actually my favorite country, I was just TOURED OUT
Kusadasi, Turkey

so I bailed on the tour and spent the day at the bazaar, it was just like a huge, cheap Anthropologie! AMAZING!

Athens

and Venice 

It was a truly amazing, but exhausting vacation. Talk about once in a lifetime! My mom, grandma, and I had so much fun! :) Definitely the best graduation present I could have asked for!

APRIL!!!!!!

Apologies for falling off the recap train. I've been dreading this month because SO MUCH HAPPENED! Oh, and also all the college amigos came to visit for a long weekend of bowl games, cupcakes, gay bars, new years, and loving embraces. We had a blast, and it was nice to be around my own friends for a change (although I love all my new VA friends too!). Anyways, on to April 2011- one of those big life turning points.



It started out with my last Phi Mu formal. I promised my good friend from Freshmen year, Valentino, that I would take him to a function since before I even rushed. My attendance record for these kind of things was never the best, so of course I waited until the last possible opportunity. The night was well, interesting. We fought like an old married couple as usual, but I guess I'm glad I went? Eh maybe not lol.

Then it was back to Virginia for a few days. I interviewed for a job with a destination management company that turned out to be kind of a joke. The trip wasn't a total bust though, I met my roommates and found a place to live!!!! People can't believe we met on craigslist and it worked out so well, but hey, don't knock it til you try it! Amanda and I planned our cliche craigslist meeting at Starbucks down the street from our townhouse. I fell in love with it and her and knew it was the perfect situation! 


Here is a copy of the ad Amanda put out before they found me...

My roommate and I just signed a lease for an awesome, newly updated townhouse in Ballston and are looking to fill the 3rd bedroom. 
- $1000.00 + 1/3 of the utilities 

-  2 Blocks to Ballston Metro (Orange Line) 
-  Good size room – 11x14 with walk in closet. Will share bathroom with one other girl 
-  Attached garage available if needed 
-  Available now but no later than May 1 

About the Townhouse: 
It is 3 levels, 3 bedrooms and 2.5 baths. The room for rent is upstairs and the shared bathroom is updated with 2 sinks and a full bathtub/shower. The entire house is currently being updated with new carpet, hardwood floors, granite counter tops, new cabinets and appliances. There is a garage for 1 car, plus 1 designated parking space. 

About Us: 
We are both early 20's and graduated last May. I work a 9-5ish schedule as a Graphic Designer in Arlington and am pretty low key during the week. The other girl is starting a job at the Virginia Hospital Center as Nurse. We enjoy hangout, cooking, going to the gym and watching good/trashy tv. We also enjoy socializing and making it to the occasional happy hours. We each have a good group of friends in the are but am looking for a roommate that can hang out and go out with us. On the weekends we like going out and taking advantage of all the fun things the city has to offer. We are respectful of common areas and make sure to clean up after ourselves. We don't smoke or have pets (pets are not allowed). 

Ideally looking to meet with interested people sometime this week. 

Look forward to hearing from you! 

In reality, we really just all facebook stalked each other and admitted drunkenly at a later date that we all just wanted pretty, fun girls to live with. Is that such a crime?! Amanda shares my love of fake hair extensions and Robin is always down for a glass of wine and some trashy reality TV. It was fate. I am a firm craigslist believer to all of you moving to a new city!


Then it was back to Tallahassee for my last 3 weeks in college. Eeeeek. We planned a ROAST, comedy central style, at one of the sketchiest Tallahassee establishments- Julies Place. We gathered, aired all the dirty laundry on each other from the past 4 years. NONE of this will ever leave Julies, sorry world. 

That following weekend was the Palace 5K. The Palace is one of the oldest, smokiest, Tallahassee bars. There is an annual race that concludes with a day long all-you-can-drink bonanza. Now a 5k isn't exactly a marathon, but this one was MISERABLE. We were all hungover, it was early in the morning, and extremely humid from an early morning storm. I think I was the only one who didn't get physically sick during the race, but I was not ready to chug my body weight in beer after the race that's for sure. Only in Tallahassee do these things sound like a good idea....

All month I'd been dreading Phi Mu fly ups. It is the ritual where you change from an active member to alumni status. Each of the seniors gives their words of wisdom, advice, and sometimes inappropriate college tales to the rest of the chapter. It's a kind of final farewell and is extremely emotional. I searched for my speech but can't seem to find it anywhere on my computer. I ended my active membership with Phi Mu on a very positive note, and totally appreciated Cat Nall's Celine Dion jam out to lighten the mood. Phi Mu was my best college decision, and will always hold a special place in my heart. 

We ended the night at Ken's in norts and frat tanks. I miss the days where this was acceptable going out attire. :(

Our senior dinner and pub crawl followed the next Thursday. Thurday nights were always the crazy nights, so it was totally appropriate. 

The next day my closest friends and I got together to roam around campus in the million degree Florida heat to take our grad pictures. It was all becoming far too real.. :( You will never have friends like the ones you've made in college. They've been through the ups and downs, and know the real you. It really sucks we all live so far away from each other now, but I love that we keep in touch and have crazy reunions!

Finally, or not so finally, finals week was here. Being a hospitality major did have it's perks. Jackie and I didn't really have finals so we escaped to Harry Potter Land in Orlando instead! Loryn  showed us the ropes and we had so much fun. We even managed to sneak into Epcot, woops! :)

Then, ready or not, at 2pm Saturday, April 30 I graduated from Florida State Unversity. The ceremony was long, and my entire family gathering always stresses me out. However, it was everything I could have asked for as far as closure goes. We went to a nice dinner and then my mom's side of the family went to Bullwinkles with us for one last Tallahassee night. 

On Sunday my family helped me move out of my apartment, while slightly lecturing me about the stupidity in my hood-life living decision, and got me all ready for the 13 hour drive back to Virginia. It was one of the saddest drives of my life. I was excited for my new place, new career opportunities, and all that the future had to hold. But I have to admit, it's hard to not be devastated knowing the best 4 years of your life are over, and things are never going to be the same. How do you even begin to say goodbye to your life, your friends, seemingly your everything? With no other choice, I pulled onto I-10 East for the last time, car jam packed, and listening to depressing songs and crying.